So I was standing at the corner waiting for the light to change so I could walk across the street. This homeless guy has been standing with me for like 20 seconds.

Homeless person: I can help you kick your heroin addiction

Me: I don’t do heroin?

Homeless person: *looks me up and down* Are you sure?

I THOUGHT I LOOKED GOOD TODAY.
Guesssss not.

:(

WHEN THE MOMENT ISN’T AWKWARD AND PEOPLE THINK IT IS?

Why do people all of the sudden think that when anything happens to them it is an awkward moment. Honestly, awkward moments are not fun.

Awkward.

He was like running on the treadmill downstairs and just SCREAMED out

I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL, I WANNA FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

.. I don’t remember putting that on his iPod….

LMFAOLFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLFMAO